she often comes out here to sit when her day has been more than less than perfect. today had been one of those days. come to think of it, what day isn’t? depending on where her focus is directed usually decides how productive/destructive her time out here is. tonight, for one reason or another, she had some smarts about her and decided to talk to the only One that could possibly help her make sense of it all. a “i don’t understand” resulted in a “you don’t have to understand” response. and a “why am i so stupid sometimes”? received an answer of “i don’t know, that’s not how I made you to be”. quietly she heard “lay down and look up at the sky.” “i don’t want to lay down, thats silly.” “i don’t care, i want to show you something.” “ok, ok, i’ll lay down.” as soon as she she makes herself as comfortable as she’s going to get, her phone illuminates in the dark, only to remind her and to emphasize one more time of how stupid she can be sometimes. the part of being stupid and making stupid decisions is that it might at times cause grief on other people, not just on ourselves. today, b/c of her haste, she is sure she had placed a heaviness back on someone that didn’t ask for it. wrong move. she extends her apologies and regrets to get no response back. so she lays there and looks up at the night sky. “do you see the stars?” “yes, i see them. its one of the reasons i like to sit out here sometimes.” “the ones that you can see, do you believe those are the only stars up there?” “no, of course not. i know there are millions upon millions of more stars.” “so, you are in agreement that even though you can’t see them, they are still there?” “yes, i would agree with that.” “don’t you get it? you worry and fret over things you can’t see yet. but just b/c you can’t see them doesn’t mean there not there.” this isn’t a new revelation to her. unfortunately, she has to be reminded of it from time to time. apparently, He felt that she still wasn’t getting the picture. she was called out there again the following night. she had decided that she was going to just sit for a while and listen to some music and just sit. her goal was to sit and not think about anything. well, it sounded like a good plan. she did her best today to try and right her wrong. she’s not sure her feeble attempt was in anyway successful. as she sat there, she looked up and all she saw before her were white, puffy clouds. the stars that she was able to see the night before were concealed by these clouds. “even the things that you’ve had a glimpse of at one time or another, won’t always be visible.” after a few minutes of resting in that thought, she found herself falling asleep. when she awakened quickly she looked back up and surprisingly saw that the stars had returned. “see, you just have to wait for the clouds to pass. i don’t promise you things only to decide not to follow through. my promises only seem unreacheable to you b/c you keep trying to reach them on your own. by you reaching out and grabbing for them, your hands are only getting in the way. stop it.”
in what ways are you trying to reach out and grab what’s been promised to you? stop it. you’re in the way. just sit back and wait for the clouds to pass.